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naam: Sjeu
latijns:enicospilus ramidulus
features: R U I M T E vangen
tussen kluts en klepel
en die, in bellen blazen..
homepage:https://web.archive.org/web/20200926031101/http://eenanderidee.nl/project/rolo/

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To Sjeu 		On how Sjeu, 07 Jun 2023 01:33
things that were missing
still take up much space
and things to compensate
can't seem to touch base.




img-16.ccm2.net/cdR8pRXT9BugdEKsPBD2011qyp4=/322x/2948930de92541f298adfe9cddef739b/ccm-encyclopedia/download_1.png

To Sjeu 		Strong back, soft front, wild heart. Sjeu, 07 Jun 2023 12:02
''Often our so-called strength comes from fear, not love; instead of having a strong back, many of us have a defended front shielding a weak spine. We walk around brittle and defensive, trying to conceal our lack of confidence. If we strengthen our back, and develop a spine that's flexible but sturdy, then we can risk having a front that's soft and open.

How can we give and accept care with strong-back, soft-front compassion, moving past fear into a place of genuine tenderness?''.

To Sjeu 		~ Sjeu, 07 Jun 2023 12:03
''I believe it comes about when we can be truly transparent, seeing the world clearly - and letting the world see into us''.

~Roshi Joan Halifax

To Sjeu 		~ Sjeu, 07 Jun 2023 12:04
“Once we’ve found the courage to stand alone, to say what we believe and do what we feel is right
despite the criticism and fear, the wild has marked our hearts. We can spend our entire life
betraying our self and choosing fitting in over standing alone. But once we’ve stood up for
ourself and our beliefs, the bar is higher. A wild heart fights fitting in and grieves betrayal.”

~Brené Brown


https://youtu.be/tG57mPexiug

To Sjeu 		Do youmemo.here Sjeu, 03 Jun 2023 17:00
notice what can invoke
the loss of Telos?
And what hijacks
the presence
of Eidos?

Eidos = Greek term meaning 'form' 'essence', 'type' or 'species'. The soul of the maker.

It takes braveness to move towards happiness; a vulnerable state of being due to it's fragility and finitude. The pressure to keep it up. Possible disappointment from expectations, perfectionism. A fear of loss.

Remember you can move away from things that are detrimental, distracting or disorienting to your original core.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telos


To Sjeu 		NSDR Sjeu, 04 Jun 2023 12:03
anyone?

youtu.be/AKGrmY8OSHM

To Sjeu 		Ono Sjeu, 30 Mei 2023 14:05
Error!: SQLSTATE[HY000] [2002] php_network_getaddresses: getaddrinfo failed: Try again

?

To Sjeu 		So I guess I was wrong.. Sjeu, 31 Mei 2023 08:48
Wanting to connect and interact with like minded people but I responded in a well intended but kind of clumsy way. In the past there was a true need for me to fully attune to my surroundings to make sure things wouldn't get violent and dangerous. And it became like a talent to read other people. To tend and befriend. While in fact it's a way of fawning. An adaptation. A trauma response. I'm sorry for leaving little space, it might have made people leave.. So I'll try to just be here quietly.

youtu.be/5SWkjVmHFNU?t=3258

To Sjeu 		Diligently working on Sjeu, 31 Mei 2023 09:33
strengthening my skills to connect as authentically as I can. Even if it doesn't bring about a possible friendship, it does help me to feel better and to constructively deal with my past.

Yesterday I had my first tattoo removal session. (Ouch!!) The part of it that represents my burden can now be eliminated. After working through things I've grown out of certain childhood trauma's and am now looking forward to wipe it off my shoulder blade.

youtu.be/ZHwQt6AIDck

To Sjeu 		Explore Sjeu, 31 Mei 2023 11:48
more healthy
points of contact :- )

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPNWivEzSlw&list=PL-4MEU2wO4yFbdR5c0KY8vwMRTbECFGP1

To Sjeu 		Say what? Sjeu, 01 Mei 2023 19:09
Removing just about 30 years
of international internet history?
To whom might this possibly be
convenient?



youtu.be/bp2aowF0jUw

To Sjeu 		To blossom; plant.here Sjeu, 25 Apr 2023 14:28
The first thing to thrive is
to brush layers of dust
and cut dead ends
if you must.

Gather good soil
and fill a container
but you cannot embroil
act as coach and sustainer.

What makes your heart sing
and what fills your cup,
acts as a wellspring
makes all add up?

To Sjeu 		~ Sjeu, 25 Apr 2023 14:30
Share a plan
and sow your best
to sprout all you can
and please mind to rest.

The seedlings need water
and your tender care!
Be a growth-spotter
try to be there.

Allow the light
to imbue and adjust,
to grow some deep faith
of inner peace and full trust.

~Sjeu

To Sjeu 		Usually a feeling follows movement Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:30
and you want to be open and flexible in moving between boundaries and connection. A feeling is a short lived sensation. Emotions are feelings with a story attached. So invoking their expression, involves inviting that story too. That is why a lot of people are avoidant of emotions.

To Sjeu 		They fear the story Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:31
They assume any awareness of it, may have consequences. But that is only if they choose to identify with it too. It's an invitation and it's optional to go with it. Or to respond to it, if you do.

When it involves your own emotions, it's wise to discern systemic emotions (derived from triggers) and situational emerging emotions.

To Sjeu 		Any agency is in the now Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:32
Dealing with a Triggered Emotion System Trap usually acquires a systemic approach. Situational Emerging Emotions are really very welcome as they can guide you into making your best choices. They can either warn you for danger or happily escort you to your no sorry-glory days. The best choice usually feels more light when you tune in.

To Sjeu 		Moving out of resistance & comfortzones Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:33
are usually the greatest challenges. It's possible to be afraid of stuck-ness and of movement at the same time. But when you feel like you are the one in charge of moving. Any direction at any time. And when you are aware of your right to fully change your mind too. It becomes more easy.

To Sjeu 		Commit to creating a safe space Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:34
that can contain all emotions in a constructive way. For everyone involved. It's the most powerful way of harmonious progressing and it will be rewarded by a healthy flow, grow and blossoming. If there's no one there to share your story with, maybe you can create some safe cosy nook somewhere in your house or write about your story, write about what you do want to happen in your life. And keep yourself warm!

To Sjeu 		Build a vibe of You showing up for You. Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:35
And then you practice.
Just start somewhere
and grow from there.

To Sjeu 		I used to feel there was little choice Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:36
or any power over choices. I have had to submit to other peoples control in order to stay alive. When I reached my 30's I finally decided to break free.

To change the direction my neurological highway was flowing, I had to be consistent with my new thoughts and mindset. It took a lot of practice and often re-thinking against my hard wiring.

To Sjeu 		Doing it and keep on doing just that Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:37
grew a little private landing spot that felt safe enough for me to carry myself through heavy days of despair. To feel them through with compassion. Without needing to numb or harm myself.

In stead I grew new 'traditions' of wearing soft, comfortable clothes in those moments. In making a nutritious meal. In opening myself for a better story. In zero tolerance for bulldozing myself.

To Sjeu 		First time I had the illusion of choice Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:38
was after high school. People told me I was lucky for being smart and highly gifted. Studying the arts, design, theater, conservatory, architecture, multimedia design, why not write?

Even though I passed the entrees to get in, my parents where sure to sabotage all options. In very painful and humiliating ways.

As back up/ escape I had plans of applying at the marines, as a hostess on a cruise ship,
as a stewardess or even as a hairdresser.

To Sjeu 		My life hasn't been even close Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:39
to any of those things. It's been quite a ride! At this time I feel like it was an educational detour that eventually brought me to a combination of some previous ideas. Didn't plan any of it though, but it did turn out okay I guess.

To Sjeu 		I'm still a student of life Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:40
(that in itself is very amazing!) Developing a new
type of art, designing wheelchair friendly tiny houses, singing to my pets daily, have done a couple public lectures about the practical transition to a better healthcare system, learned embracing low- and slow-tech, making my own furniture from scrap wood and initiating open source solutions to improve community participation and the quality of life of people with a health challenge.

To Sjeu 		Have been in a plane three times Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:41
but it's not my thing. The marines or working on a cruise ship have not been true aspirations. Back then, I just wanted to flee from a very messed up situation. (Also, I don't have a swimming diploma ;- P ). I do cut my own hair and my little lady dog's hair and enjoy being a happy hostess for my 5 pets. They are loyal and true. I'm capable of believing their love for me.

To Sjeu 		At this moment I've dropped Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:42
those previous plans and put all my energy in building a sturdy foundation. Looking to ask for help in the right places. I love what I've set out and what I've learned in the process to get there. By first strengthening my base, the things that are mend and meant to be, can grow from there. My movement is upward, situational emerging emotions are very welcome and I know I have got my back.

To Sjeu 		I know my truth Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:43
and hold space for the truth of others around me.
The most important choices I made where about
leaving a detrimental situation I was in.
My emotions of shame are about not
leaving in a more early stage and
putting up with other peoples BS.
Scared of standing up and leave.
In my case there really wasn't
any back up or support but
staying put is a choice.
I didn't trust anyone
to be there for me.

To Sjeu 		And I forgive myself Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 14:44
because I know I have done everything in my power at those times. I did show resistance, I have expressed my boundaries, I did ask for help, I have called people out, I fought back every time someone violated my integrity. I warned others and spoke about my experiences. Expressed my feelings and shared lessons. I stopped playing small. I kept growing when no one was watching. I survived hell and it helped me grow courage and resilience.

To Sjeu 		How? Helpful questions might be; Sjeu, 13 Apr 2023 17:08
Which movement do I need to make in order to open up the feeling I would like to experience? And then; what feeling is needed to support that movement? (Allow interaction)

Because a feeling will follow movement. A conscious, embodied movement can be nourishing in any connection. Eg. Only think about the difference an open posture makes while having a conversation. Well this is about having an honest and vitalizing talk with yourself about your (future) life.

To Sjeu 		When you emerge from your old story, Sjeu, 05 Apr 2023 10:38
you’re vulnerable. You often have to grieve what you outgrew. You can even sometimes long to go back to how things used to be.

But you can never go back. If you do, you’ll just repeat the same cycle again with the same circumstances that might LOOK different at the beginning but will eventually end up the same way - because it doesn’t FIT you anymore.

You’ve grown.

The “explosions” and experiences of your past life were not the result of you screwing up, being blocked or broken.

To Sjeu 		It was simply your higher self calling Sjeu, 05 Apr 2023 10:40
you forward, inviting you to write a new and better story about Who You Truly Are.

If you keep telling yourself a story about being stuck, broken or blocked, you might stay stuck in a cycle that keeps you living in a story where you feel stuck, broken and blocked. Please start telling yourself a better story. If things keep “not working” and “blowing up” it might be that your higher self is simply letting you know it’s time for a bigger, better story.

To Sjeu 		Any entree Sjeu, 29 Mrt 2023 16:52
of the heart starts with I

I am loving. I love. (selflove)
I am forgiving. I forgive. (narrative)
I am trusting. I trust, I serve. (spirited)
I am compassionate. I share. (compassion)
I am supported. I allow, I receive. (allowing)
I am who I am. You are who you are. (purpose)
I am powerful. I choose, I decide. (collaboration)
I am vital. I embody my spirit/soul. (embodiment)

To Sjeu 		For Sjeu, 28 Mrt 2023 18:34
everyone

thenicestplace.net/

To Sjeu 		For Sjeu, 25 Mrt 2023 20:00
anyone
who feels like
there's nobody here..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2L0-vi2rDpc&list=PLVhKy2wekafkZSoedNAefu2UyLdW4hq8Q


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